So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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