her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
