how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
