He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
