I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
