is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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