1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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