you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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