He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
