I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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