i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?