Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.