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Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
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