She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
whose parrot is this?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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