I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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