I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
try to milk me bitch
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