is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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