friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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