I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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