i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
