this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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