1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
