U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
