You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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