I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
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It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
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We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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