careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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