Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
