I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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