I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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