Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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