Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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