Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
this will be a night to untag.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
