I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
