Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
