remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
