if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
