Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
