singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i think i have herpe
just one?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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