i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I skipped work to stalk him.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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