remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
