Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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