That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
