he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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