I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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