My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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