I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
