my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
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