If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
