Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
