I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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