Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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