You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
