On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dude i'm inner monologue high
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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