i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
