it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
