According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
