I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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