Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
