I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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