dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
