Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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