If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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