It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Acid is not a monday night drug
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
