yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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