You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I need to calm my uterus...
COCAINE IS GR8
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