Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
